Today marks 10 years – 10 years that I have been with T. We’ve been married for 5 of those years and I know I haven’t told him enough how much I love, cherish & adore him. I haven’t told him how lucky I am to have him.
The last 8 months have been difficult, especially for me and I’m not just referring to raising twins mostly by myself. The last 8 months have been hard for me to find a rhythm, to find the happy place, to find the new me that I’m happy with. Because of that T has had to deal with me, I’ve been distant, emotional, bitchy, unhappy and of course exhausted.
I’m lucky because he still loves me in spite of all that ~ he still finds me sexy with my jelly belly, stretch marks, unkept hair & yoga pant wardrobe (don’t get me wrong he’d really like it if I got dressed up and did my hair once in while).
I’m lucky because he tried to help me find the new rhythm, to help me find the new me, to be happy with myself and is always giving words of praise & encouragement.
I’m getting there ~ I still have my moments, I sometimes want to get in the car, blare music, drive fast and not have a care in the world and never come back (well maybe for a day or two).
I know I sometimes resent that he gets to continue to have his “normal” life – work, drinks/dinner with friends etc. but I also know that my resentment isn’t fair. I’m my own worst enemy, I know all I have to do is organize my “me” time and T will take care of whatever needs to be taken care of – another reason I’m lucky.
So on a day that marks 10 years together T, I want to say thank you and I love you. I don’t tell you enough and I certainly don’t show you enough, without you I wouldn’t be who I am, I wouldn’t be a mom to two healthy gorgeous Pinto Beans – we make a great team.
Here’s to another 10 years!