I met a really nice mom of twins last night when she came to my house to buy some things that the twins had outgrown. She had given birth to boy/girl twins last week. I was giving her any advice I could to help her survive the first 3 months with 2 babies at home. In my advice giving I starting remembering…
I remembered falling asleep tandem breastfeeding in the middle of the night, waking up with my arms numb and not remembering even putting the Beans on the pillow to feed. I remembered on those difficult days when the Beans couldn’t be consoled that I had to go outside for 5 minutes, sit on my deck and regroup. I remembered not accepting the help that was offered to me. I remembered not going out enough with T when the Beans were so portable and easy. I remembered the fights that T and I had, especially the first few months, oh those fights were bad, the worst of my marriage ~ but more about that another day.
I remembered the resentment I felt toward my husband – he got to leave everyday, go out for drinks/dinner with friends, have a “normal” life. The resentment was almost the breaking point of my marriage.
My biggest piece of advice is that you’re not alone, I think many mothers think that whatever they are going through they are alone in it. No one truly understands what you are going through, no one thinks of you anymore, you’re just a wife and a mother – no longer you. We are never alone in anything we do, we just have to let others in, accept the help being offered, ask for help when we need it, cry when we need to, scream when we have to and breathe.
I wish someone had told me that 10 months ago.