Yesterday marked the beginning and the end of our Nanny’s tenure in our house. I can not believe that we had to ask her not to come back. I have less than 4 weeks until I go back to work and I don’t have anyone to look after the Beans. I don’t have that “special” person. I won’t go into the details of why we asked the Nanny not to come back but she did something that destroyed all the trust and goodwill I had in her. We thought long and hard about our decision but I knew I could never trust her to look after the Beans again.
I told T that in my business life I might have given her a second chance but there are no second chances when it comes to the Beans. T told me last night that in all his 40 years (Happy Birthday!), this was the hardest decision he’d ever had to make. When you become almost attached to someone, look forward to them teaching the Beans, nurturing them, caring for them and being their primary caregiver during the week, to have all of that destroyed is heartbreaking.
Now I’m just second guessing myself. Not second guessing the decision I made to not have the Nanny back, but second guessing my interview skills. Did I not ask the right questions, did I not hear the right answers?
I don’t know where to go from here. But when I look at these two, Sofie playing peek-a-boo and Sebastian rockin’ it out with his bad self, I know there are no second bests.