Time

It’s been far too long since I’ve been here. Far too long that I’ve neglected what has been a saviour to me. I began coming here to help me find me and I’m well on my way in that search and rescue mission but feel that there is still a missing person out there. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve ranted and raved.  I’ve bitched and moaned and hailed and applauded.  So why have I been ignoring you?  Why have I not found that few minutes a day?  Why have I not let my finger tips tickle the ivories so to speak?

Life. That is why I haven’t been accumulating my frequent flyer miles lately. Life, it’s the other four letter word. Life happens but then nothing happens.  I let LIFE happen, but because of LIFE happening, nothing happens. The life of getting up with the alarm and going through the motions of the day only to end the day no further ahead than when I started the day. Nothing really accomplished, nothing really gained, nothing really cherished, nothing of consequence lost, just nothing.

I spend so much of my time making sure that certain things get done in the way they should, when they should and how they should that I’ve ignored the other side of life.  The side filled with spontaneous fun, laughter, joy, passion and even spontaneous anger.

I was telling T last night that we just don’t have enough time anymore.  Time for the fun that used to be us, but us is now different.  We aren’t just spouses anymore, we’re parents.  Why do so many people (or is it just me) let the old ways die when the new life of parenting has entered our homes?  Sadly, our hunt for more time isn’t going to resolve itself anytime soon.  It might actually start to get worse as the Beans get older and start school, homework, sports, friends etc.  So how do I make sure I find that time? 

What do I give up to get more time? What do I change to get more time?  How can I stop that clock from racing around day in and day out without finding that precious time I and WE need so badly?

Time – I need it.

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1 Comment

Filed under Mayhem, Me, The Abyss, who am I

One response to “Time

  1. gini

    Time is not something that invents itself . It has to be created you have to consciously set aside time for either you or the us of you. If the house isn’t just so or the grass not cut or the weeks menu not done every once in awhile you have to say this is my(our) time. Chill, read, go for ice cream or just lounge whatever the moment is. but now that you are a parent your times are often shared often with lots of enjoyment or chaos. Embrace that. Its what memories are made of. Once in awhile take the time to be creative and make little moments of time to call your own or ours that’s what makes them special.They may not be long but they are yours. After all these years I still enjoy my times with my children and now grandchildren but also do need the special times for the me and the us of me. It’s all about balance sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t

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