Sunday morning we woke up to an eerily quiet house. There was no crying, babbling, screaming or pitter patter of little feet at our abode. For the first time in 16 months T and I were in our own home together. ALONE! I’ve been alone in the house and T has been alone in the house, but never have we experienced this moment of bliss together.
T and I had a date night on Saturday and the Beans were shipped off to the Grandparents house overnight. Dinner was a bit of a let down (I won’t bother telling you where we went but we did go to a very highly rated restaurant in the city that we had gone to in the past and loved but this time – not up to par).
Even with the not so fabulous dinner it was still a great night out followed by a delicious morning of sitting on the back deck, looking at the forest, listening to the birds, drinking our coffee and reading our books. That’s right – we were able to drink our coffee in peace, read more than a paragraph at a time and just be.
We chinked our coffee cups together and said a toast to many more moments of alone time in our house!
This week in the concrete jungle (and I mean that literally, just look at pictures of the 3m high fence in downtown Toronto), T and I have mixed it up a bit. T is working from home this week and I’m coming downtown for work. That means that T is home when I get home, T is getting dinner prepared, T is there for help during the Beans dinner, bath AND bedtime. So for this week I am getting a small taste of what it would be like to have a husband that worked 9-5 and at just 1.5 days into the week I must say I like it – A LOT!
I know this schedule is not realistic for our lives, it is not realistic for the type of job that T has and loves, nor is it realistic with our commute from home to work. I just want to say I’m liking this whole come home to dinner organized business and having help at the end of the day with the Beans schedules. It’s also fun having all four of us together every night for a few hours. Playing, laughing and enjoying the time together.
So even though this little piece of heaven won’t last I want to thank the G20. The negatives of this spectacle have been turned into positives for our little family, so thanks G20, I owe you one!
T and I had our date night on Saturday. The Beans cooperated for the sitter and didn’t stay awake or wake up shrieking and scare her away. A big topic of conversation at dinner, besides being pleasantly surprised at finding a really good restaurant where we live (delicious food, great service, nice ambience and a great view), was about US.
US has to be capitalized, because US has been suffering lately. Since the Beans were born T and I have gone on 2 date nights and went out to a friend’s birthday party once. So in almost 14 months, T and I have enjoyed a nice night out only 3 times. We each have gone out with friends but actually organizing a night out together hasn’t happened I don’t know why. Yes, there are logistical issues now that we have kids, it’s not just saying on Friday night that we’re going to go out on Saturday and our biggest decision was where we were going to eat. Now we have to organize things sometimes weeks in advance, secure childcare etc. It’s no longer carefree so our “US” time is no longer carefree.
Everything takes more effort now, but why have I not been putting the effort into US. I can only speak for myself because I don’t want to put words in T’s mouth but I know I haven’t put in the effort that I should have, I haven’t put in the effort that I did years ago. I can now see how families get into a rut, they become complacent, years go by, the children leave and then they look at each other and wonder who the other person is. They haven’t invested the time in their spouse, they KNEW each other but they don’t KNOW each other now.
I’ve decided and I’m sure T agrees, I don’t want to just live with someone, I don’t want to be a roommate with T. I want the passion, excitement, laughter and joy to return to our house. I have to get to work on that now, before it’s too late.
T and I are going on a date in a couple of weeks. We are so past due for a date night it isn’t funny. We (more like I) have been stuck in the rut of day-to-day life for a while now and we need to get out just by ourselves. We need to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company again. My task now is to find somewhere to go for dinner. T and I love food, all food, everything about food. Our problem though is that where we live it’s all the same type of restaurant. When new restaurants open in our area they are typically Italian and typically mediocre. Because it will be the first time this babysitter is looking after the Beans I don’t want to go too far in case we need to come home.
I need to find somewhere to go for dinner. If we had our choice we would probably head into the city and use a gift certificate we have for Chiado (oh yummy fish). Or we’d go to one of our favourite restaurants in the city Le Paradis or a million other places we love. But where we live we haven’t been able to find a place that we love. There are the usual standby’s of The Keg and other chain restaurants but I’d like something more, something better. I want to savour every bite that I eat while having a great night with my hubby.
I’m hoping Google will help me find something.
Filed under Family, Food, T
With the recent school stabbing in our area it got T and I thinking about the Beans future. How do you make sure that as your children get older they understand to walk away from physical confrontation? Fights aren’t fights anymore. Fighting involves guns and knives now. When I was in high school, and when our parents were in school, fighting involved fists and maybe a foot or two, now “kids” resort to real violence to settle their disputes.
How do you teach your kids the right lessons along the way so that they know it is far better to walk away from these types of situation while still keeping their dignity. I don’t want my kids to be bullied, I don’t want them to be picked on and teased. I’m also all for standing up for oneself and for what you believe in, but not at the expense of your life.
How do you give your kids the right foundation to become what they want, what they are good at, what they are passionate about without sounding like a preacher? How do you teach them to respect each other and oneself? How do you make sure they love their sibling, parents and family. How do you make sure your kids talk with you about anything? How do you do all this without becoming a parent that your kid hates. I know all of these hard decisions are in the future for the Beans but shouldn’t we start now with giving them the love and attention they deserve. Does a happy child make a happy adult?
You quickly realize when you become a parent that you have this precious being that you have to be so careful with. What we do now and in the next few years is going to shape who they become. How can we make sure we don’t screw that up?
Filed under Beanism, Family, Me, T
Happy 1st Birthday my sweet Beans, how you have changed my life. One year ago tonight I became the Mom of two, Sebastian the snuggler and Sofie the spitfire.
We became a family of four on March 11, 2009. Your Pai and I became parents to two amazing little people.
From your first smiles to your first steps, this year has been a crazy ride. We’ve experienced sleep deprivation together, heart breaking happiness and every emotion in between.
I hope that as the years pass you will become friends and keep each other close just as you have this past year. You don’t like to be away from each other, you call out for your sibling when they aren’t in the same room as you. You give each other hugs, chase each other, laugh at each other and play together.
When your Pai walks in the room you two ignore me, you only have eyes for him, it’s okay I try to not let that bug me since you see me all day. You both love being chased and laugh hysterically when we crawl around on the floor after you. Sofie you love to give hugs and sloppy wet kisses, Sebastian you love to cuddle and have recently found a passion for dancing.
You love going for walks and car rides. You make us laugh with your squeals of delight. You make our hearts melt with your love for us. Do you know how much we love you?
I wish I could write a better one year birthday note, but I’m not very eloquent so I’ll settle with how I feel.
I love you my Beans, thank you for choosing me.
Filed under Beanism, Family, Me, T
T left on Saturday on a business trip to the other side of the world. Before the Beans I somewhat liked this time alone, the quiet of the house, being able to watch what I wanted, the bed all to myself and having a bagel for dinner if that’s what I wanted. Now, this time alone isn’t as fun. T works long hours and we don’t see each other as much as I would like. Since the Beans were born we also don’t go out as much as we would both like. Is this what happens, your life as a couple takes a back seat to everything else?
We escaped to the cottage for a few days and spent some time with Nana and Papa, I had help with the feeding, bathing and bedtime routine which was great, I also had company. We went on a shopping excursion and I was able to pick up the last things I needed for the Beans 1st Birthday celebration. I was also able to take a break from my nanny search. I have some more interviews set up for later this week but this whole search has made me exhausted – both physically and mentally.
We miss you T, come home soon. Muitos beijinhos (many little kisses for those non-Portuguese speaking people).
Filed under Family, Me, Nanny, T